Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
