she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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