Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
