Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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