when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so let's talk penis.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
