**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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