Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
