Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
