worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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