He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
