my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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