considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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