apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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