you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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