Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
