If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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