The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Are we still banned from the library?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
