The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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