never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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