Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
