u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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