I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize