So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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