No stitches, just platelets and will power
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
