I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
