That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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