i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
