I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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