Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way