her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear