You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU