They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.