I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
