Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
