***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
