Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
