After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
