she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
