I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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