rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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