well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
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You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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