Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
