Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
