And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
