Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
