I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
