The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Two words: blizzard sex
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
