Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
