I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
