so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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