Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
