You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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