somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
