So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize