I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
