so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
