I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
