Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
