i think i have two assholes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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