also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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