I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
