Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
