the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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