I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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