when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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