i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just found puke in my bra..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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