The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
