so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
