is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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