you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
