I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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